There will be a time to understand a deeper spiritual reason for all of this. There will be lessons learned + gleaned. There will be changes made as a result. But for now, it’s enough to just feel. In fact, trying to over-understand steals from this moment. Being presented is the opportunity to feel some of what maybe, was not yet felt. Some of it is beyond our mental comprehension anyway — at least right now. The generational, inherited, and ancestral pain, along with our shadow aspects all have the potential to transmute when we have the courage + compassion to feel what, for probably good reason, wasn’t before felt.
When I first starting using yoga to move energy, I think it was exactly so that I wouldn’t have to feel things I didn’t want to feel. Just move ‘em on out! Time + life experience has shown me what I don’t feel, will wait for me, giving me chance upon chance in the future. You know, through those surprise repeat patterns that show up in unexpected places? This collective trauma, is precisely such a place. It doesn’t make “sense,” why random feelings from the past may come up. And, it doesn’t have to right now. Just staying present to the sensations in the body is what matters. Learning to recognize the turning away from our unpleasant feelings as an expression of the Klesha Dvesha. And, that avoidance is also, a form of self-abandonment that will only perpetuate our pain.
What I have found is in giving myself permission to feel what I have judged as “bad,” + avoided, usually brings me a gold nugget. “The feeling,” is the catalyst for the releasing. And, the universe doesn’t work in a vacuum. Whenever I release old emotions or stories, I miraculously get back more of myself in exchange. It’s This body certainly remembers. There will be a time to understand more. But for now, just committing to stepping on this mat every day. Moving as s l o w l y as I need…so that, I can stay present in this human heart and deeply feel what she has to say. Because this heart, truly can hold it all 💓🙏🏽✨